The Four Buddhist Secrets to Happy and Lasting Love
Relationships are like gardens: they need constant love and attention to grow and stay healthy. Love can spark at first sight, but then the fire must be maintained. When both partners commit to it with devotion and appreciation, the relationship blossoms into a magical union that inspires, frees, and empowers. But when they don’t, it eventually withers and dies, leaving behind regrets, remorse and lessons to be learned.
The Buddhist monks, some of the most enlightened people on the planet, advise us to cultivate loving kindness, compassion, joy, and detachment in our lives. These four attributes are the most potent fertilizers in our relationship. They lead to true and lasting love, in which both partners feel happy and fulfilled.
Let’s take a look at each of them…
1. Loving kindness
Loving kindness always wants best for the other person. It’s always caring and good. Keep that in mind, especially when someone says he loves you, but he deliberately hurts you or makes you feel bad about yourself through blaming or shaming you. Conflicts are inevitable in a relationship, but suffering is not. A loving partner will respect and love you, even when you disagree. He won’t put his needs above yours or your relationship. True love brings joy, not pain. It makes you feel important, appreciated, seen, and loved.
Compassion is all about being able to feel the suffering and pain of others and empathize with them. This is something only a loving and open heart is capable of. There is no greater love than when you show compassion to others. For love to grow, you must practice compassion. Put yourself in your partner’s shoes and listen to him intently. Allow him to be vulnerable, especially now when men are finally getting in touch with their Divine Feminine and emotions. Don’t push him to play a role; instead, hold space for him to be authentic. In doing so, you will teach him to do the same for you.
It’s easy to show compassion for someone who goes through a major loss. But sometimes things that may seem of little importance to us may be experienced as tragedies. Compassion understands and accepts that and never holds back.
Joy is one of the highest vibrations we can experience as humans. Joy is all about being connected to the universal consciousness, tapping into your creative powers, and living in the flow. Life is a celebration filled with opportunities for growth and being of service. Joy is the state of being of people in love; in love with themselves and in love with life. They radiate it all around them. Radiate joy in your relationship. Be like the sun, life–giving. Make every moment special and memorable.
When we transcend this Earth plane, everything we have and everyone we know stays behind: possessions, people, and pets. We aren’t our bodies, nor our minds. As Joe Dispenza beautifully puts it, we are consciousness connected to the quantum field. So practice detachment and balance, and free yourself from preconceptions and judgment. If your partner leaves, let him go and wish the best for him. It means your karmic cycle is over. If someone likes something you have with all their heart, gift it to them. A new partner and new object, more compatible with your vibration, will show up.
True love is free from attachment, discrimination, prejudice, and addiction. You see yourself in those you love and cherish them as much as you cherish yourself. By doing so, you eliminate separation and the notions of “self” and “other.”
If you’re looking for more actionable steps to bring more love into your committed relationship or marriage, check out my new book, Open Your Heart, Rise in Love: Six Secret Doors to A Happy and Healthy Relationship. Because you purchase the book on pre-order, you will get access to my private Facebook Group Love Ambassadors and my FREE online video mini-course that will help you master the three big Ls in your life:
Love Who You Are,
Love What You Do,
Love Your Life.